How to Achieve Eternal Bliss

Being twenty-three and unemployed, with no degree and no marketable skills, may seem daunting and depressing, but it doesn't have to be! I'll show you how to make the most of it with one screen shot:

Let's analyze:

1. Slingo  - You remember Slingo, don't you? It's from back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth and AOL was the best way to get online. While America Online may be lying on the floor, clutching its heart, and clinging to its last breath, Slingo lives on through both cheap online imitations and mostly terrible desktop versions. Slingo Quest Hawaii, however, captures the moderately fun original well, and takes you on an island journey as an added bonus. It provides hours upon hours of sort-of entertainment.

2. American Pie - Fearlessly belting out Don McLean's classic--the best song in all of ever, in my opinion--is a guaranteed way to put a smile on anyone's face. It's true, I promise! Try it now. I'll wait............. No, no, no. You didn't do it right. You have to put your heart in it. Really yell the words: "NOW DO YOU BELIEVE IN ROCK-N-ROLL AND CAN MUSIC SAVE YOUR MORTAL SOUL AND CAN YOU TEACH ME HOW TO DANCE REEEEAAAAAL SLOOOOOW?" See? Pure joy, that is.

3. TV on DVD - When clicking matching numbers becomes too monotonous, and your throat starts to hurt from screaming the words along with your "Songs Your Mom Probably Likes" playlist, it's important to have something to occupy you while you rest. TV on DVD is the perfect answer. I should add that it's important to choose a show that's already ended, and I'll tell you why: When you reach the end of your DVD's, if you know there's more story and you have to wait until September to see what happens, you will be monumentally frustrated. Trust me on this, I speak from experience. And frustration runs contrary to our goal. I've chosen to watch ER in this screenshot. Some of my other suggestions:

• Daria 
• Alias
• Arrested Development
• The West Wing
  

4. Computer Customization - If you're going to spend hours a day on your computer, it'd better look pretty. Otherwise you'll just begin to resent staring at it all day. This, as you can imagine, would not be conducive to the rest of our activities. My desktop uses CD Art Display, MiniLyrics, and Rainmeter to enhance my computing experience and make my computer environment more aesthetically pleasing. You don't need to take it as far as I have, but be sure your wallpaper, at least, is attractive without being too busy or too jarring.


And there you have it: My foolproof guide to fulfillment. Your mileage may vary. But probably won't, because I know what I'm talking about.