I Need to Go Buy Some Deet.

My blog needs content. Obviously. Sitting in my living room staring at the walls didn't seem to be sparking any brainwaves, so I decided to take this show on the road. And by "the road," I obviously mean "the tiny unlit balcony outside my apartment."

That brings us to where we are now. My plan is to type until I come up with something to say.

La la la, I like cake, la la la....

Got it! This post is now about:

Why It's a Bad Idea to Bring Your Laptop On Your Unlit Balcony at Midnight When You Live in the Wilderness.

I currently live in a part of the world colloquially known as "North Country," New York. Seriously. I have proof. Having grown up about twenty minutes from New York City, in a New Jersey suburb whose population you only have to multiply by about 5 to get the population of this entire region, I find the fact that it's called North Country to be pretty abhorrent on its own.

When we moved up here in February, there were approximately 47 feet of snow on the ground. There are lots of farms in the village (yes, village) we live in, and I'm willing to bet the cow to human ratio is at least 2:1, although I have no proof of this. Trees are plentiful, as are wide stretches of completely unused land.

This is the wilderness.

God and the U.S. Army must both really, really hate me to force me to live in a place like this.

In such wilderness, winter is filled with snow, and summer is filled with more bugs than you could possible imagine. I seem to have forgotten this fact, because I thought it was a really good idea to bring my laptop outside.

Since my balcony is unlit, as are the balconies of all my neighbors, they don't believe in things like street lights in the wilderness, and it's midnight, my laptop is really the only light in sight right now. And every idiot but me can remember that bugs are fucking attracted to light.

Every idiot but me would also have retreated back to the safe, relatively bug free indoors by now, too. But not me. I shall persevere.

This is totally gross, guys. (By "guys," I obviously mean no one, since this is my first real entry and no one is reading my blog. And probably never will if I don't think of something more interesting to write about than bugs.) The bugs that aren't hanging out on my face and arms are landing right on my screen. When they do, I squish them. Now my screen is a cemetery for little, gross, flying bugs.

This was a terrible idea.

I'm going back inside.